Disney with the Ropers

Here we go again, to the happiest place on earth, with the Ropers! However, this time was much different. We went for one last hurrah before Jen underwent brain surgery. The nerves, emotions, stress, fatigue, and fear were written all over our faces (the adults) as we arrived at Disneyland with hopes it would wash all of our worries away. We had a wonderful time together as a family, but Jen's surgery was always in the back of our minds. However, Jen was such a trooper and remained so positive throughout. She was the source of strength that kept us all going. She truly has been so incredibly amazing through this whole thing! She is an inspiration to us all! Thank goodness, Disneyland never disappoints at bringing a smile to our faces and delivering some much needed fun!

 Dane has his Disneyland face on!:)

 Logi and Sethy holding hands is one of the sweetest sights I have ever seen:)

I can not put into words how much I love and adore my sister and how badly I wish that I could take her cancer away. Jen has always been a role model to me, but now more than ever. I am humbled and amazed at how she is handling this life altering situation with such grace and beauty. Her optimism is infectious and flooring. Ever since our mom passed away when we were little, we have clung to each other more than ever. Together as a family and with the comfort and strength from our Savior and Redeemer, we will make it through this and anything else that comes in our way. Jen is a fighter and SO incredibly strong! 

We love you Jen and your sweet little family so very much:)

The Fruits of our Labors

Well, actually not quite. We have no idea how these watermelons started growing in our flower bed, but they sure are flourishing! The kids (and Ben) were soooo excited to pick them and eat them:)

Taylor's First Birthday!

I cannot believe that our sweet little niece, Taylor, is already 1! We were happy that we were able to make it to Tuscon to celebrate her special day! Thanks Clark and Lindsay for the fun! We love you guys:)

 Happy birthday to Clark too! His birthday is a day before Taylor's:)

Lindsay did an amazing job with all of the decorations and the adorable watermelon cake!

 Beau was obsessed with the balloons. He calls them "boons"

Such a cutie pie! Happy birthday sweet Tay:)

Daner's First Day of Preschool!

For about a year now, Daners has been asking, "Am I big yet mom?" I always tell him, "yes, you are a big three year old now and wear big boy underpants!" But, that answer never seems to suffice because he thinks that being big equates to going to preschool. So, whenever I tell him he is a big boy he says, "I am! I better get my clothes on and find my back pack so I am not late for school!" It is soooo cute, but has made me sad that he has had to wait so long to go to preschool and feel like he is a real big boy. Finally, that day has arrived and he couldn't have been more excited to be big!!! He even slept with his back pack on the night before...so adorable:)

Here he is in all of his preschool going, big boy glory!

 He is going to Mrs. Dieu's preschool and LOVED his first day! He could not wipe the smile off of his face all morning before school and was beaming when Ben picked him up! He also loves Show and Tell like Logan and really enjoys painting. Daners is such a character and his teacher is already telling us how funny and good he is. We hope he keeps it up all year long! We are so proud of our big boy, Daners, for starting preschool! We love you so very much!!!

 My two little preschoolers:) They both go to school Mondays and Wednesdays so that leaves me and Beau Beau home alone for 2 HOURS!!! It is so weird/nice/sad/wonderful! Beau is loving the alone time with his parents that he has never had before. We are loving it too, but it is making me realize how big all of my babies are getting and that it may be time to be thinking about having another one. But, for now, we are enjoying the much needed break:) 

 He recently has gotten into watching a little tv in between his car pushing. He especially loves Mickey Mouse and Sesame Street. He looks so little sitting there on the floor:)

He has started doing Daner's cheeser smile...love it! He feels so special being home alone with mom. He is such a little sweetheart:) 

Preschool Year # 3

Yes, Logi has been there done that now with the preschool thing, but we feel really good about our decision to wait one more year before starting kindergarten. We know that Logan is more than ready for kindergarten and would do very well, but since he is a July birthday, we would much rather him be the oldest in his grade than the youngest. This way he will not have to wait a year after high school to go on his mission, he will be more mature, and should have an academic advantage due to his age. So, we made a decision and are sticking to it! 

Here is Logi bugs on his first day of his 3rd year of preschool. He is 5 years old and proud of it! He also is very proud of his new Mario Bros back pack! Logan is at a new preschool this year with Mrs. Farnsworth and with three of his best friends! His class is all boys, which he thinks is super cool! He also loves that he has his own desk, school supplies, and cubby hole. Logi loved his first day of school! He especially loved Show and Tell, which is every Wednesday...yes!;)

I can't believe my Logi bugs is getting so big and before we know it, he will be going to elementary school all day:( I am happy that I get one more year with my big preschooler where he just goes to school twice a week for 2 1/2 hours. He has the rest of his life to go to school!!! We love you so much Logan and are so proud of you!!!

Jen's Diagnosis Story in Her Own Words

The Worst News You Could Ever Get....

I needed to go to the gym.  I love going to the gym.  I crave the endorphins.  On this particular Saturday, I especially needed the gym.  The small problem with this Saturday was the varicose vein surgery I had done just two days prior.  Per doctor's orders, I could not run, lift weights or do anything too strenuous, but the elliptical would be okay.  The elliptical it was.

I knew I shouldn't push it so I entered in a fairly decent level and pedaled for about 30 minutes.  I felt a small pain in the calf of the leg my varicose vein surgery was performed on so I decided it would be best to quit.  I didn't want to overdo it.  So I left.

I was in charge of Sunday dinner this week, so my plan was to go to the grocery store after the gym.  I always go into the produce section first when I go to the store and this time was no different.  Pushing the cart with my right hand and holding my shopping list in my left I turned the corner and headed for the cucumbers and carrots.  

Suddenly my hand dropped my list.  I looked over at my left hand and it was moving back and forth slowly as if it had a mind of its own.  I became a little dizzy myself and knew I needed to sit down before I fell down.  My brain tried to tell my left hand to grab the shopping cart so I could safely lower myself to the ground without any success.  Mr. left hand had a mind of its own and kept flailing around.  I used my right hand and sat on the ground.  I knew I had to call Matt so I grabbed my cell phone and called him while I was swarmed by about 10 people--it isn't everyday a girl is sitting in the middle of the produce section!

I was able to get a hold of Matt and he told me to sit tight and that he'd be there in 2 minutes.  A quick call to Jess and Ben to get over to our house and Matt was off, leaving Wade in charge.  By the time he got to the grocery store, I felt pretty normal--a little dizzy--but normal.  He said, "okay let's go the ER." I told him I didn't think it was necessary since I felt fine, but Matt wouldn't budge letting me know the only reason he didn't call 911 was that he could get me to the hospital faster than an ambulance.

Both Matt and I were pretty convinced I had had a stroke.  I had just had varicose vein surgery and after a workout I felt a little dizzy and lost a little control of my left hand.  I didn't pass out, so in our books it was a pretty minor stroke and everything would more than likely be fine.  We got to the ER prepared to sit for a long while.  Not this day.  As soon as we told triage what had happened they fast tracked me back.  Within an hour I had blood work, 2 CT scans and an EKG.

CT scan #1 showed an abnormal mass in my brain.  We were mildly concerned, but didn't have too much time to think because I was already getting my second scan done--this time with "contrast."  Contrast is when they inject you with iodine so they can see things in the x ray differently and with more detail.  

"Contrast" is very uncool.  It feels like you are injected with a hot liquid that spreads through your body in seconds.  You also feel like you are peeing your pants.  All of this while a man is telling you, over a speaker inside the machine, not to swallow and breathe shallow.  Don't swallow?!  I don't think I really swallow that often (unless I'm eating), but I can tell you that when someone tells you NOT to swallow, you want to! And I did--every time.  I couldn't help it.

Who knows why (maybe because I was swallowing), but the results from CT scan #2 came back clear.  The ER doc said we should feel relieved that the mass did not show up in the scan, but that I needed to be admitted to the hospital so I could get a MRI Sunday morning to figure out what caused my "stroke."

I have never been a hospital patient unless I'm delivering a baby.  It isn't a whole lot different except for the baby part of course.  The room is uncomfortable, the bed is lumpy, the temperature in the room goes from blazing hot to ice cold in minutes and worst of all, they come in to get your vitals what seems like every 5 minutes.  It is torture.  I also had an IV that they could not remove because of hospital policy.  This particular IV was the most painful I'd ever had and I was miserable.  To say in the least, I did not sleep much Saturday night.

Sunday morning started with good luck, or so I was told, because they could get my MRI done immediately--I guess, it's something you have to wait hours for on a usual basis.  The MRI wasn't bad.  I was pretty nervous after my CT Scan #2, but the technician was super nice and even played some 80's rock to soothe my nerves.  It worked.  I liked her and did not have any complaints.  

Back in the room, the last thing to do was to get my EEG to rule out any seizure activity and then I'd be homeward bound.  The nicest lady came in and started the EEG process.  She busily stuck wires with metal ends to my head while we pleasantly chatted.  While she was doing this, the Neurologist came in my room with the MRI results.

Neither Matt nor I were too concerned about the MRI results.  The ER doc said the second CT scan was clear so were were expecting something minor that had to do with my varicose vein surgery.  He asked me to tell him what brought me to the hospital on Saturday.  I told my story focusing most of it on my varicose vein surgery.  I was convinced this was why I was here.  He told me he believed I had had a seizure.  "A seizure?!  Well, what about my varicose vein surgery?"  He told me he did not feel like my surgery had had anything to do with why I was in the hospital.  The MRI showed results of a tumor located on my brain.

A tumor on my brain?

I immediately began to cry.  The lady doing my EEG began to cry.  Matt and the Neurologist barely held it together.  The questions began to flow....

What do you mean a tumor?

Do you mean cancer?

"We believe the tumor to be malignant."  

THIS could not be happening to me.  I am 33 years old.  I have 5 babies.  I run.  I exercise.  I eat right. I lost my mom when I was 16.  I do not deserve anymore big trials, my worst fear is to leave my babies behind.

MY WORST FEAR IS TO LEAVE MY BABIES BEHIND.  

In comes the neurosurgeon.

"The tumor is malignant, it is on your motor strip which means it is on the portion of your brain that controls the movement of your face, arms and legs.  It is on the right side of your brain.  If we are to surgically remove this tumor, there is a good chance you will lose function of the entire left side of your body and this could be permanent."

"THIS COULD BE PERMANENT."

That was all I could handle.  I lost it.  I screamed.  I cried.  I sobbed.  I held on to Matt for dear life.  This was the worst news ever.  My life would never be the same.

I called Jess.  I cried.  She cried.  Hard.  We sobbed, we screamed.  I did the same thing again with Julie and again with my dad and again with Matt.

Why?

Why is this happening to me?  I cannot leave my babies.  My babies have to have a mom.  They HAVE to have a mom.

Matt and I decided almost immediately that I would have to get the tumor removed regardless of the risk involved.  A mom is still a mom even if she is in a wheelchair.  

I'm strong.  I'm a fighter.  I do not do anything half way.  If there is a chance I could walk again, I will do it.  

I WILL DO IT.

Phoenix has a renowned Neurosurgical Institute.  I have an appointment with a surgeon there that specializes in my type of tumors on Wednesday.  I need someone who is confident, experienced and ready to kill this thing because that is what I'm preparing to do.

My hopes are high.  I have everything to live for.  

I will beat this.  I will beat this thing without a doubt.

Sister & Hubbies' Trip to Vegas!

We have been wanting to do a sister trip with our husbands and no kids (except for 4 month old Casey bugs, of course) forever! So, we were so excited that we were able to work it out for the first time since we have all been married and have kids. Vegas is about the half way point between AZ and UT, so what better place to meet up than Vegas baby!!! Ben and I were so thankful that Grandma Bryner (Annette) and Uncle Tom were able to fly in from UT and watch our boys for the weekend. The boys couldn't wait for us to leave so they could play with Grandma and Tom:)

Uncle Tom built the boys forts, rode bikes, played the Wii, and...

swam twice a day with them! So did Grandma!

The boys were in heaven! Thank you so much Annette and Tom! We love you!

 So, off we went Thursday night! Myself, Ben, Jen, and baby Casen flew together and met up with Matt (who drove from Yuma) later that night. Julie and Chris were meeting up with us Friday. We were so excited to be all together and play! I adore my sisters and love their husbands so much:) We obviously don't drink and gamble so people must wonder, why go to Vegas? We go for the amazing shopping, food, shows, and did I say the FOOD?!? Our trip pretty much turned into a tour of restaurants and of course, with Jen in tow, it was a conquest for amazing treats! We did not go home hungry or unsatisfied, and I think we all went home a little heavier:)

 The first place that we hit up was, of course, Serendipity to get our treat fix and it did not disappoint!!! Next we went to check out our hotel. We stayed at the the Palazzo, which was the most amazing 5 star hotel Priceline deal we have ever landed! It was beautiful there and perfectly located across the street from the Fashion Show Mall:)

 Here's our room with my dorky husband that I love very much, posing:)

Ben was overly excited about the All-In-One Brother printer in our room. It made him less home sick for his at home and made working a little bit on the trip that much easier. 

 Sisters in the Palazzo lobby:)

 One of the delicious restaurants that we ate at was Strip Steak at Mandalay Bay.

 Here is my Caesar salad? Yes, that is an anchovie! Who knew they are a key ingredient to an authentic Caesar salad...not me! Yuck! Benny wouldn't even eat it and he is a garbage disposal!

I love this pic of us together:)

 Casen is such a sweet little chunker! He is such a dream baby! Love him:)

 Yay! Julie and Chris have arrived!!!

 Sistas forever! I love my sisters so much:)

I also, of course, love my amazing hubby:)

We had soooo much fun all together! Me, Jen, and Ju were so happy to get a chance to "dance like no one was watching" while the Palazzo house band jammed their best 80's hits! We were complete dorks, but we had so much fun without a care in the world being dorks together:) I really feel like this trip happened for a reason. It allowed us to spend some amazing quality time together before life was about to change forever. I am so thankful that we are an eternal family and are there for each other through thick and thin no matter what. It is amazing to see Heavenly Father's hand in all of the events that have lead up to Jen's brain tumor diagnosis. I LOVE looking at these pictures of us together and so happy, especially Jen. I know we will have many more of these trips and happy times together in the future. I can't wait! I have all the faith in the world that Jen will make it through this trial stronger and happier than ever! We have been through the hardest of times together as little girls and I know we will make it through this. We are so thankful for all of the support of our entire family, friends, Stake, and community! The out pour of love for Jen and her family is humbling, overwhelming, and oh so amazing! Together we can fight this! As soon as Jen is in remission, I am envisioning all of our families on the beach in Oahu at Turtle Bay having the time of our lives!:)