It has now been 12 years today, since my mom passed away. I was 14 at the time and I had a lot of growing up left to do. Thankfully, my dad became the glue that held our family together and made it possible for us to be sealed for all time and eternity. I know that I will be reunited with my mom again, it is just a matter of when. Without that knowledge, I do not think that I would have been able to handle this life-altering trial. Through this experience, I have gained such an incredible testimony of the gospel of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints, without which, I would be nothing and am forever thankful for.
Every year, this day comes and then it goes, but it will forever be a day that will remind me where I gained my testimony and learned what life is really all about. For my family, this was the way that we had to learn and I know it was meant to be.
I am thankful for a family friend that encouraged me to write daily in a journal dedicated soley to memories of my mom. Those memories are invaluable to me. Sadly, the memories of my mom fade more and more every year, but her spirit and comfort is always with me.
On this day in 2003, while I was attending Southern Utah University, I was given an assignment in English class to write a descriptive paper that used all five senses. I chose to write about my mom and here is the actual paper (sorry it is so small, but you can click on it to enlarge it):
I know I am not the best writer, to say the least, but any documentation of memories of my mom bring the biggest smile to my face and fill my heart with so much love. I miss her so much, but I know that she is with me through every step of my life and I hope to be like her someday.
17 comments:
What do you mean you aren't a great writer? You are a phenomenal writer! This was so touching to read. I too remember that time in your life, I remember attending the viewing and funeral to support you during this time. I also remember feeling like I had no idea what to say to you to help you feel better. All I could do is show up. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose a parent, I really can't. It's a day I know will come, but it will be really hard for me. You are one of the strongest people I know. Your family is such a great example of how to deal with the worst and come out alright....better than alright, freaking fantastic!! I love you Jess, and thanks for sharing this with all of us.
WOW, the paper is so small so I had John read it out oud to me but I could finish any word he slipped up on without even looking at the screen. Those are beautiful memories Jess and as insignificant as they might seem to someone reading that means the world to me... Thank You. Joyce Klea Rasmussen is and will always be missed and loved by her 3 girls ... and so many other children, family members, friends, neighbors, ward members, and Yes..."D"
Love you Jess :)
Ju
I loved that tribute and I loved your paper in college. I remember when you wrote that paper and it means more to me now, because, I agree, with time the memories fade and that paper captured so many of those memories that I have forgotten.
Thank you. I love you.
That was so sweet. I remember when that happened. We weren't very close, but I felt so sad for you. I can't believe it was so long ago. She is probably even more special to you now that you have a child of your own. And isn't it fun to think that she was in Heaven probably right with your little Logan before he came to you. And perhaps taking care of any future children you will have. I thought about that when my Grandma passed away. I had Jace shortly after and imagined him being with her. While we waited for him to come to us. And maybe she was there to welcome President Hinckley home. Who knows, these are just fun things to think about.
That was so beautiful Jess! I love that picture of your mom. I remember seeing it in your house. Now I know where you and your sisters get your beautiful features. I love you with all of my heart and am so proud of you for being so strong throughout these years. Whenever I see flags flying at half mast, I think of Park Lane and the flag that was flying at half mast for your mom when she died. For some reason that memory is imprinted in my mind. ~ Love ya, Ash
Even if you don't think so, you are an amazing writer Jess!
This is such a sweet tribute to your mom. In fact, ALL YOUR TRIBUTES are amazing!
I never knew your mom but what I do know is that she is very proud of the mother you became. The way you talk about Logan and the way you are with him in the videos you share, you are such an amazing mother. How could she NOT be proud of you????
Such a sweet post Jess.
Take care.
Jess- That was a beautiful paper about your mom. She was truley the most caring person I have ever met. I remember those Saturday date nights and how we would have sleepovers and "prank" call our crushes..we were such dorks. I will forever have beautiful memories of your mom. You and your family are incredibly strong. You have always been someone I look up to and I always will. I love you Jess :)
Suzy
I remember that day, and I also remember feeling so sad for you. Like Jennie said I am sure she was up there with Logan and any future children you have ushering them here to earth to be with you. What a beautiful tribute.
Jess,
Wow! I love that picture of your mom! She is so beautiful, just like her 3 baby girls. I read your blog about an hour ago and I still can't gain my full composure. :) You couldn't have said anything more perfectly. I think about your mom all of the time and what an amazing woman she is. Whenever I have watermelon I think of her because she would always cut up watermelon in perfect squares with no seeds and give it to us. It was the best watermelon ever. :) I have so many great memories of your mom and I am so thankful that I was able to know her. You have always been such a great example to all of us and Logan is so lucky to have you as a mommy!! You learned from the BEST!
I love you Jess!
Nat (your favorite cousin)
Jess- That was so beautiful, you have a perfect way with words. Your mom is absoutley stunning I think that picture looks so much like Julie. Im so happy to see that you have that comfort that she is with you what an amazing thing. She did have 3 beautiful daughters. I think about your mom so much especially during this month. I am proud of you and what a great mom you have turned out to be, I can just see that glow you have with Logan. I know your Mama looks down and is so proud of you! You are a wonderful wife and mom. Thanks for such a touching entry. Love ya Jen
Jen had that picture of your mom up in college and I have always thought she was so beautiful. You are such a great writer and this tribute was really touching.
Wow, Jess, thank you so much for being open enough to share that with us. How beautiful. What a sweet tribute to your gorgeous mother. You girls look so much like her. How incredible. Thanks for sharing that. You are so incredibly strong and genuine.
Hi Jessica!
I have enjoyed reading the tributes you and Jen have made to your mom. What a beautiful lady she was! I also enjoyed the paper you wrote and am glad you got to experience a Bonzo class! You always know that you earned your grade!
Jessica-
That is beautiful, you have always been so strong!! Your mom is stunning. No wonder all the girls in your fam are so pretty! I love what you wrote, you are a great writer, you can really touch people with what you have to say.
Okay I hope this works.....
For some reason my computer doesn't want me to leave comments on your blog.
That was such a beautiful tribute to your Mom. And that paper....I am speechless about that. When I read it I immediately went and got Chris to have him read it. He thought it was amazing and we talked about you and your Mom and family for a long time. You are such a good Mom. I have loved catching up with you through blogging. I love you Jess!!
That is such a hilarious picture of Logan! He is so funny! I need my Jess and Logan fix!
Miss you!
Nat
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